


Even God Can't Stop Me

by Kaimu



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-28
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-11-17 05:05:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaimu/pseuds/Kaimu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allison has died, but before she can disappear, she has one more task left on Earth...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_I don't really know how it happened, all I know is that I'm in Kris' bedroom and he's laying in bed with Adam, both naked! They must have had sex!Woohoo!!! Finally, they found their way to eachother!  
Oh-ooh, Adam's phone buzzing! Hopefully they won't see me here... _

  **Adam picks up the phone, reads the message and drops his phone on the ground, he's crying... Kris wakes up from the noise and sees Adam crying,he reaches over him to pick the phone up from the ground, reads the message and drops the phone too, he lays down his head on Adam and starts crying too**

_" What the hell is going on here? " I ask myself and I slowly get down on my hands and knees and crawl over to where the phone's laying, I gasp as I read the message " Allison Iraheta, 17 year old girl and ex-contestant of American Idol season 8, has died in a planecrash... That's how it's mentioned in the papers, I thought I should be the one to tell you this before you had to read it, I'm sorry... Matt "_  
I can't believe it! I... I'm death?!  
Then it all comes back to me... All of the people getting hysterical in the plane I took to get too one of my shows in Europe. Me just sitting in mychair, holding on to the bar that's on my right side, with my left hand I just hold on to the chair like my life depends on it. Right before the plane hitthe ground I pleaded to God to not take me away, I still had something to take care of before I could die and go up to heaven. I guess he only did half of what I asked him to do, I did die, but my soul is still on earth, I 'm not up in heaven yet.  
Oh-ooh, they're moving! They probably can't see me, but I better get out of the way... 

**Adam gets up out of bed, wiping the tears from his eyes and quickly putting his clothes on. Kris pulls himself up to sit and looks at Adam,concernedness clearly shown on his face**

**" Adam... "**

**" Not now Kris... " Adam's voice is barely hearable, it's so soft and broken**

**" Adam please... I know it hurts, it hurts me too but.. " Kris sounded almost pleading**

**" SHUT UP! Just shut up okay? We shouldn't have done this... It's wrong... It's all wrong! " Adam was crying again**

**" Adam... " Kris stood up and walked up to Adam " This wasn't wrong... It didn't feel wrong to me... " Kris started to blush**   
_* So cute! *_

**" Come on Kris, we had our first sex together last night and Allison dies on that same night... Can't you see it's a sign? " Adam was getting angry**

**" A sign for what? " Kris asked, although he probably already knew the answer to the question...**

**A sign to show us that what we're doing is wrong... You just broke up with Katy and we're already having sex without even having a proper date yet! I** **don't want this...  It's only going to lead to both of us getting hurt... " the look in Adam's eye was full of hurt and sadness**   
_* if only I could hug him now*_

" **What are you saying Adam? You... You want to break up with me? You want to break up with me before we even have a proper realationship? " the look in Kris' eyes was the same as Adam's**  
 _* Damn, I Really want to hug those two now... *_

 **" That's exactly what I'm saying Kris, it's over... It hasn't even really started yet, but I'm stopping this, I'm stopping this now! " Adam sounded angry and hurt at the same time**    
 _* No! No, Adam, don't do this! *_

**" Adam please... I know you're hurt and maybe, maybe you just need time to place all this. Please, just think about it again before you break this up...Please... " Kris really started begging now**   
_* Please listen to him Adam! *_

**" I don't need to think about this Kris, I already made up my mind... It's over, there's no more you and me... " Adam grabbed his carkeys and left the room, slamming the front door behind him as he left the house**

**" ADAM! " Kris screamed, but Adam was already gone... Kris fell back onto the bed, burrying his head into his pillow, crying his heart out...**   
_* Shit, now he made me cry too... Damn you Adam! Damn You and your stupid stubbornness! *_


	2. Chapter 2

  
_I followed Kris and Adam around the next days, one day I was with Adam, the other day I was with Kris. They were both wrecks, I could tell... They tried to live their life as they did before, but I could see that there was something missing... They just missed eachother.  
Still, they had their songs in which they could pour all of their emotions, and nobody would know who it was about. I knew...  
Now it's the day of my funeral, pretty scary if you think about it. I don't know how I will react when I see myself laying in a coffin. I will find out soon enough though...  
I'm at the church now and I'm watching all the people that are slowly coming in. My parents were there already, they were standing outside at the door , holding eachothers hand and sobbing softly. I wish I could comfort them right now, tell them I'm still there, but I can't... And they would freak out if they saw me as a ghost, so maybe it's better this way...  
Oh, my fellow Idol contestants are coming in! Damn, this is hard to watch..._

**Lil and Megan came in, all dressed in black, clutching at eacothers arm and their eyes red and swollen. Then came Matt and Anoop, also dressed in black, both walking with their heads to the ground. Danny came in a little behind them, ofcouse in black suit, he looked like hell 'cause it was the first time that he went to a funeral again after his wife had died, but he did this for Allison 'cause she had always been there for him, no matter what the others thought of him, and now she was death... It was time for Kris to come in... Boy, did he look like shit... He was wearing sunglasses so no one could see his red and swollen eyes, but you didn't need to see his eyes to know that this guy was completely heartbroken... Adam was looking even worse... He was also wearing sunglasses but his eye-liner had run out all over his face leaving streaks of blue on his cheeks as he tried to wipe his tears away, he was a mess, anyone could tell you that...**

_Why aren't Kris and Adam walking side by side? They totally should! Why can't they see that they need each other... Now more than ever probably...  
Oh for crying out loud! Why does Kris goes to sit next to Danny? He knows he wants Adam next to him, why doesn't he let him? Oh well, Adam's probably to not-caring-at-all-who-sits-next-to-me and to stubborn to take his place besides Kris instead of on the empty chair that's on the other side of Danny. Ugh, those two boys really need some serious ass-kicking! And some shaking, to get their brain working in the right way again!  
Oh-ooh, there they are with my coffin... My parents walking ahead of the carriers... This is hard... I know I told my parents I always wanted my coffin to be open until they would put me in the ground, then they could close it, but seeing myself laying there motionless, I regret it a bit... It's so strange to see myself in that coffin...  
Huh? What's happening now? Matt, Danny,Lil, Megan, Kris and Adam are getting up? They're not leaving are they? Oh no, they're stepping to the altar , don't tell me... Don't tell me they're gonna read something for me? Shit, they Are gonna read something for me... I am So gonna cry now..._

**Lil, Matt, Danny and Megan read their letters and all four of them ended up crying. Now it was Kris' turn... He grabbed hold of the microphone, cleared his throat and began to speak**

**" Sweet, adorable Alli... I can't believe I'm standing here, next to your coffin, looking at your pretty face... You look so at ease and so peaceful... But still I feel like you're gonna jump up all of a sudden and scream " Gotcha! " and then roar with laughter 'cause we all fell for your stupid joke, but you won't... You're just laying there... That little spitfire we always known is now burned out... God Alli, I miss you... I miss all of our talks, the fun we had together and most of all, I miss how you could read my mind... I didn't need to use words, I just looked at you and you just knew what I was thinking... There are only two people on this earth that are able to do that, and those people are you and Adam... You remember how our fans called us? You and me was Krallison, you and Adam was Adison , me and Adam are still Kradam, and the three of us were Kradison... You were always fussing about why your name always came last in those combinations. Me and Adam used to tease you with it too... Saying we were more important than you so our names were put first, and you would just stick your tongue out at us, making some stupid face that made us laugh and you joined us in laughter soon after that. That's just how we always were... Making fun of eachother, but we never meant it, we could never hurt eachother... I miss those times... Now more than ever... You were the one who told me to always follow my heart, to where ever or to who ever it would lead me, I would just have to follow it and everything would be alright... Well I am following my heart Alli, and I know it's gonna be a long and hard road for me to walk on, but I won't give up... I owe this to you... Alright, I'm gonna stop myself now before I totally breakdown and do stuff I normally wouldn't do... Just know that I love you Alli, always have, always will... "  
Kris stepped of the altar and went back to his seat, but when he passed Adam, he let his hand brush against Adam's arm, just briefly, but he knew Adam  felt it 'cause for one second he saw Adam's eyes turning to him and then quickly turning away again**

 

_Kris... This means So Fucking Much to me... I really hope you don't give up... God, I wish you could hear me when I say that Adam really wants you but is just too hurt right now to see and think clearly... You'll get those fun times back, only I won't be around anymore, but you still have Adam and what else could you possibly need when you have him? I love you Kris, always have, always will... Just don't do anything stupid, Adam wouldn't survive it if anything happened to you.._

**It was Adam's turn now, he grabbed the mic,swallowed, cleared his throat and started talking**

**" Alli... "**

_* Adam *_

**" Alli I... "**

_* ... *_

**" I can't do this... I just can't! "**

_* Adam please... *_

**" I can't fucking do this! " Adam let go of the mic and it fell on the floor, adam jumped off the altar and ran through the church, he just had to get out of there, he left his letter that he wrote for her laying on the alttar...**

_* Adam... You can't go on like this... Please, let Kris back into your life... Please, stop hurting yourself like this...I love you... *_

**Then the ceremony went on... Kris looked over his shoulder a couple of times to see if Adam would come back, but he didn't...**

 


	3. Chapter 3

  
_When the ceremony was done everyone left the church to go to the graveyard where they would would bury me soon. I floated, yes I float now 'cause I'm not able to walk anymore, outside too, looking for Adam. I finally saw him standing, leaning against his car, Matt was walking up to him so I followed him. I really wanted to hear their conversation..._

**Adam tried to get into his car when he saw Matt walking up to him, but Matt was quicker and put his hand against the door when Adam tried to open it, then he stood against it so Adam wasn't able to open it, Adam looked angry at him**

**" What do you want Matt? I'm not in the mood for one of your stupid jokes now... "**

**" Stupid jokes? Ouch! That hurts man! " Matt laughed, but when he saw the look on Adam's face he stopped quickly and became serious " I just want to talk to you... Can you give me a ride to the graveyard? I told Anoop to go on without me so I basically ditched my driver, but it's a little too far to walk... Mind if I join you? " Matt was already on the other side of the car and pulled the door open of the passenger's seat before Adam could lock it**

**" Fine... " Adam sighed and looked annoyed at Matt " Get your ass in the car. But I'm not promising that I'll talk during the ride, it will depend on your questions "**

**Matt grinned and stepped into the car, Adam stepped in at the driver's seat and started the engine**

_Phew, I got into the car right on time! I'm starting to like being a ghost! I mean, I can just drift through anything!  
Okay, now say something boys... You can't stay quiet through the whole ride can you? No, it's not like you...  
There you go, I knew I could count on Matt to break the silence..._

**" So.. " Matt turned his head a little so he could look straight at Adam's face " How are you? "**

**Adam looked at Matt for just a sec and cocked his eyebrow, was he really asking him that?After all that happened in church he still asked how he is feeling? Matt kept on staring at Adam so Adam put a smirk on his face and answered " I'm great man! Couldn't be better! "**

**" Adam... " Matt sighed helplessly " I'm trying to be serious here... No jokes, just serious talk... You know I'm not so good at this so please help me out... You look like a mess... And you can blame it on Alli's death, but I know that's not the whole truth, it's only half of it! Come on man, what's going on with you? You're not the Adam Lambert that I used to know... "**   
_* That Matt... Almost never serious, but when he is, he always says the smartest things... I just love him for that *_

**" I just can't do this Matt... " Adam turned the car upto the parkingspot of the graveyard, turned the engine off but stayed in the car, he stared through the frontwindow, trying to avoid Matt's eyes**

**" You can't do what? " Matt asked trying to encourage him**

**" Everything... " Adam let out a breath, he was really getting desperate now and he couldn't keep himself from blurting it all out " Kris... I miss him.. "**

**" What the hell happened between you guys? " Matt asked eagerly, finally Adam had opened up to him " One day you're the best friends I've ever seen and the other day you ignore eachother and treat eachother as dirt. You didn't even sit beside him in church, you two were Alli's best friends man! It's only normal that you would find some comfort with sitting side by side at her funeral, but Nooooooo, you decided to let Danny sit in between. How can you guys be so stubborn? " as he saw Adam looking questioningly at him he decided to tell him " Look Adam, you know Kris is like a brother to me and we've talked a Lot the last couple of days, and you know what the first thing was that he always asked me? ' Have you seen or heard Adam lately? ' and when I asked him why he kept on asking that, he's Your best friend after all I always added, he fell silent and started talking about something else. So it's only normal that I started to think there was something wrong between you guys don't you think? And now I've seen the two of you together, I'm pretty sure there is. What happened Adam? What kind of bad thing could've possibly happened between you guys that you're acting like this... "**   
_* Oh-ooh... Here it comes... You asked for it Matt *_

**" We had sex "**   
_* I knew it! *_

**" Excuse me ? " Matt looked shocked for a minute and then started laughing " You've got to be kidding me?! "**   
_* No he's not... But I don't think this is the time to be laughing with it Matt... *_

**Adam turned his head to Matt furiously " It isn't funny Matt! "**   
_* There you go, now he's mad... *_

**" Was it That bad? " Matt had stopped laughing but he couldn't keep the gin of his face " I mean seiously, come on man, you're having a fight about sex? That's just too stupid for words! "**   
_* He's right you know... *_

**" It isn't about the sex, which was pretty amazing actually... " Adam blushed a little and looked at Matt who made a face as to say ' I really don't wanna know the details ' which made him laugh a little " It was... It was just the wrong thing to do... "**

**" The wrong thing to have sex? " Matt looked amazed at him " Come on, it's been obvious, even to me, that there was some sexual tension going on between you and him and... "**

**" Matt! " Adam interrupted him " I already said it isn't about the sex! It's so much more than that... " Matt looked at him curiously, Adam sighed and shook his head, Matt really was a goof-ball for not understanding this " You know I've always liked Kris, I've always been in awe of his incredible talent, his vulnerability, the way he treats people,... He's just So nice to everyone... It's really overwhelming sometimes. The last few months something had changed... My feelings towards him changed. When I pulled him into a hug or he just wrapped his arms around me, it made me feel like I was falling apart every time and time again... I wanted more... Then he broke up with Katy and came over to my place, he cried his heart out and I just tried to comfort him but I couldn't help but feel that little feeling of happiness that he had broken up with her. I never told anyone about that happy feeling or about any feeling at all so nobody knew how I Really felt about Kris, Except one person... Allison... Alli didn't need words to see that my feelings had changed about Kris...She even tried to bring us together, like hold eachothers hand, make me give him a kiss on his cheek or his temple, she was just like a little cupido trying to shoot her love arrows at us. The feeling of friendship had gotten intenser and changed into a feeling of... Oh, the hell with it, a feeling of love... I'm in love with him Matt... I just never told him...  "**

**Matt's face softened " Why didn't you? You've had lots of chances to do so... "**

**" 'Cause I don't know if he loves me too... The evening we had sex was just...Weird... Kris had come over to my house to watch a movie, at the end he was crying again and I took him in my arms to comfort him, and then... Then there was this moment when I lifted his head up with my hand under his chin, and when he looked into my eyes I was completely lost and I couldn't hold back anymore... I kissed him... And the moment when the alarmbells were getting off in my head telling me that what I was doing was wrong, he kissed me back... Then it got Really intense, and well, you don't wanna know the details so I'll keep it at that. The next morning you texted me that Alli died and I freaked out... What if it was a sign that I just did the most stupid thing in my life? I mean, Kris is straight... Or was straight, I don't even know, I never asked him... It's just like there is some sort of Higher Power at work... I fuck with Kris so they take away Alli...Kris is probably regretting it now anyway... "**   
_* Damn Adam... Why are you making this so hard for yourself? *_

**" That's bullshit Adam " Matt said convincingly " Maybe it was weird for you to have sex, especially 'cause you've always been best friends and I can't imagine myself having sex with Scott or Anoop either, but there are true feelings involved in your moment of sex and so it couldn't be wrong... And the fact that Alli died in that same night hasn't got anything to do with you and Kris having sex, it's just a bad coincidence it happened at the same time. Believe me Adam, you didn't make a mistake... "**   
_* You tell him Matt! *_

**Adam looked puzzled " How can you be so sure? "**

**" 'Cause I know Kris too, maybe not as good as you, but I know him well enough to know that he would never have sex with you if he didn't really want it... So I'm pretty sure he has no regrets about it . You just need to talk to him about it... Seriously man, talk to him! "**  
  _* Go Matt... Go Matt... God I love you boy! "_

 **" We'll see about that... But not now, they're gonna bury Allison now and I would like to see her one more time before she disappears under the sand... I still need to say goodbye to her 'cause I messed that  up in church... "**  
* _Oh Adam...You're so sweet... *_

**Adam stepped out of the car and Matt did the same, suddenly Matt turned his fase to Adam again**

" Oh by the way, that thing Kris said about following his heart? I think I know to who it will lead him... " Matt winked at him and walked off to Allison's grave

Adam's heart stopped for a minute... Did Matt mean Kris' heart was leading him to Him, Adam Lambert...Did he mean that Kris, Kris Allen, was in love with him?  No... It was probably one of Matt's jokes again...  
But then again... What if Kris really was in love with him? Could it really be mutual love?  
Ugh, no time to hink about that now, he needed to say goodbye to Alli...  
And with that thought he walked off after Matt, up to Allison's grave... It was time to say goodbye to one of the best friends he ever had...

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

  
_When I came to my grave, they still hadn't put me under the ground yet but they had closed my coffin so I wouldn't have to see myself anymore. It was even harder than I thought it would be... Seeing myself laying there, all those people I love with their sad faces, the letters my fellow contestants made for me, Adam's breakdown,... It was all just too hard...  
Speaking about Adam... Where is he? Oh, there he is... He's still not standing at Kris' side, damn it! But he Is looking at him right now...  
Come on Kris look back, just turn your head a little and look back! Damn It! Too late! Jesus Christ, those boys are tiring... And annoying too!  
Oh there we go, I'm going down into the ground...Huh? Why is Adam stepping up to the priest? And now the priest is telling those guys to put me back? What the hell is Adam up to?  _

**Adam stepped up to the coffin, put his hands upon it and started talking**

**" Alli, my sweet little sister... I know I messed this up in church, but I can't let them put you under the ground without saying goodbye to you... "**   
_* So that's what it's about... Oh Adam... You're so gonna make me cry again! "_

**Everyone went completely silent and their eyes were fixated on Adam, Adam swallowed softly and continued**

**" What can I say? Everybody knows you were an amazing person! So energetic,so sweet, so caring about other people, so extremely talented and oh So smart for your age... You amazed me time and time again... Life's never gonna be the same again without you... God I... I'm a mess Alli... I really Really am... When you were still alive I always went to your place and you listened to me rattle about all my little problems and when I was done rattling you gave me advice, advice that always seemed to help me. But I can't drive up to your house now anymore... Well I could, but the door won't be opened and I won't be stradled by some little flashy-haired girl anymore either...  I'll have to fix my problems by myself now... I'll have to try to fix myself on my own... Thank you Alli... Thank you for being that open minded person who was always there for me when I needed her to be. I love you... " Adam wiped away his tears and went back to where everyone else was standing**   
_* I.. I... Damn it Adam! I didn't wanna leave you alone...But I know you're strong, and I'm sure you can get fix your problems by yourself. And there is still one person who can help you to fix yourself... If only you would let him... But I love you too... No matter what... *_

_Damn that Adam, he always knows how to get me all emotional...  
Oh, they're lowering my coffin again... There I go... Now they're gonna throw some sand over it and I'll be gone... Atleast my body will be...  
And everybody's slowly leaving the graveyard now... Where should I go now? Hmm... I think I'm gonna follow Kris around a bit  
Where did he go? Oh, he's over there... Why's he going so fast? Hey Kris, wait up! Oh yeah that's right, he can't hear me...  
Oh, he's slowing down... Wait a minute, isn't that Adam over there? Yes, it is Adam! Ooooooh Kris! Finally one of you is using his brain in the right way!  
Now let''s listen to what you have to say to eachother..._

**Kris walked up to Adam nervously, Adam hadn't noticed him yet so when he heard a soft cough behind him he almost jumped and turned around looking startled. When he saw who was standing there behind him, he wanted to walk away, but the hand on his arm stopped him from walking and so he turned around again to face the guy who was the reason why he's a mess, he turned to face Kris...**

**" Don't walk away Adam, please... " Kris looked pleadingly**   
_* God those puppy-eyes... I never could resist them, and neither could Adam... "_

**" What do you want from me Kris? " the hurt he felt was clearly in his voice**

**" I don't want anything from you, I just want to talk! "**

**" What's there to talk about? We already said everything that has to be said " Adam folded his arms over his chest**   
_* Oh, come on Adam... That's just mean! "_

**" You think so? " Kris was getting angry " You really think it has to be like this? You really think that we're doing the right thing by ignoring eachother? " Adam didn't say anything which made Kris even more angry " God Adam, look at me! And look at yourself! We're wrecks! And you know why? "**

Adam smirked " Oh, I have no idea! Please enlighten me Kris, tell me why we're wrecks "

" You're such a jerk! " Kris tried to punch him bur Adam just blocked it off with his hand but then Kris grabbed his shirt with his other hand and pulled him against him and looked up in Adam's eyes with teary but angry eyes " Who are you? And what have you done with my best friend Adam Lambert? "

For a moment Adam wanted to laugh at that but he stopped himself just in time. He brushed Kris' hand of his shirt and took a few steps back, away from Kris " I don't know what you mean, I'm still myyself "

" No you're not " Kris had enough of it, this guy  wasn't the Adam he knew before... Yeah, before they had sex and Alli died... He knew Alli's death would hurt Adam even more than it hurt him, but that he would completely change and turn into a jerk he never could have guessed... He didn't want Adam to be like this... He didn't even know if he wanted to be his friend anymore at this moment... Adam had hurt him, hurt him a Lot, and he really wanted to talk it out with him, but not when he was like this, 'cause now talking just wouldn't help a thing... Adam was too far gone... " I don't even know why I tried to talk to you... Why I wanted to help you with your problems... I really don't know why I wanted to do that now... " Kris was starting to turn around to walk away but he looked over his shoulder one more time " If the old Adam, the one I considered as my best friend, comes back and wants to talk to me, then my door will be open for him, always... But for This Adam? No... I don't even want to know this Adam... Goodbye stranger, hope I'll never see you again... Goodbye Adam, I really miss you, please come back to me, to all of us... "  then he walked away

Adam stared after Kris and without even knowing he was doing it, he raised up his arm and held it in front of him... He was reaching out for Kris... He wanted him to come back, but he knew he wouldn't... Why had he been like that to him? Why was he such a jerk all of a sudden? All Kris had wanted to da was help him and he had acted like that... Maybe Kris was right... Maybe he wasn't the same Adam anymore...  
With his head to the ground he walked back to his car and made a promise to himself to find that old Adam again, wherever he might be, he would find him and bring him back...  



	5. Chapter 5

_Days had gone by and Kris and Adam hadn't seen or heard from eachother since the funeral. I've been floating back and forth between them since then too and I saw no changes at all... They were still wrecks,oh excuse me, they still Are wrecks.  
It's Adam's fault this time. Why did he have to be such a jerk to Kris? I know he's hurt and confused... But that was a bit too much...  
Oh! Kris' cell is buzzing... Let's take a look over his shoulder... Whoa! It's from Adam! Are his brains finally working?_

**When Kris saw the message hegot came from Adam his hands became a little shaky, he opened it, and read it nervously ' Are you home? We need to talk... '  Nothing more, nothing less... I was a very short message but Kris knew what he should answer ' Who's asking? Adam?Or the big jerk who says he's Adam? ' Kris knew Adam would smile and roll his eyes as he read Kris' answer, but he Had to know... After a few seconds he got one back ' It's me... I'm still a jerk, but I want to make it up with you... Can you give me that chance? ' Kris smiled and stroked the screen of his cellphone with his finger, it IS Adam... He quickly replied ' I'm home, you can come over... '**  
Adam arrived at Kris' place 15 minutes later, he rang the bell and waited 'til Kris opened the door and gestured for him to come inside. They went to the livingroom and settled themself in opposite couches. Kris asked if Adam wanted something to drink but Adam refused, he wanted to get this over with...

" Kris I... I'm sorry... " Adam played nervously with a pen that he found on Kris' table

" For what? For leaving me naked in bed and breaking up with me, when we don't even started a relationship yet, when we found out Alli was dead? For ignoring me ever since, even when I tried to get your attention at the funeral? 'Cause for your information, I could really use your support back then, and I think you could have used mine too... " He pauzed for a moment to look Adam straight in the eye " Or are you sorry about being that big jerk to me when I finally got the nerve to talk to you? You know how nervous I was to walk up to you? And then you go all jerk-style on me..." he sighed, but continued" I don't know which of these has hurt me the most Adam, I really don't... "

Adam dropped the pen in his lap, he really screwed things up with Kris... But he had to try and make up with him no matter what. He had already lost Alli, he didn't want to lose Kris too...  
" I'm sorry for all of that Kris... I really am. I left you in bed and broke up the thing that we had, I'm still not sure what it is, because I freaked out. We just had sex and the one person who always wanted us to be together died that night... Plus, you must agree it Was a weird evening... " He looked over at Kris and saw him nodding his head agreeingly " I just tried to comfort you 'cause you were clearly still hurt from the break up with Katy and something in the movie we were watching had triggered that feeling 'cause you started crying again. Then I kissed you and everything just went too fast... " Adam pauzed to look at Kris who shifted nervously on his couch, then he continued " Look Kris, I don't wanna loose you... And you're right about the fact that I could use your support at the funeral, and I know I ignored you when you were looking at me or when you brushed your hand against my arm at the altar... But your letter to Alli made me emotional, too emotional to read the one of my own... You move me Kris, you always did. I just don't know what it all means... I don't know where to place all this. I don't think we're ready for a relationship, atleast not yet... But I want you back in my life... If you're still willing to let me back in yours? "  Adam looked straight into Kris' eyes this time and Kris looked right back in his

" I know what you mean, it was a weird evening...And I don't know how it happened either, all I remember is waking up, a little while before your cellphone went off and you got that terrible message, and felt your arms around me and I felt safe... More safe than I've ever felt my whole life. With Katy it had always been me who made her feel safe, now it was the other way around and it felt just perfect... You feel perfect...  " Kris looked over at Adam who blushed a little and smiled shyly at him " It's not like I really know what this all means, all this feelings I'm having lately, I don't know where to place them either... I'm just trying to follow my heart, and my heart is telling me to for give you and to let you back into my life 'cause I need you... I need you in my life Adam... " Kris stood up from his couch and sat down next to Adam, he put his hand on Adam's knee and searched for Adam's eyes again, when he got them he locked on to them " I also think you're right when you said that it's too early for us to start a relationship, we both need to sort out all our feelings first and we need to get through the mourning of our little sister Alli, and what's the best way to do that? That's right, together! I'll be there for you and I know you'll be there for me too. So let us leave it at that... I forgive you, and I welcome you back into my life with open arms! " Kris smiled warmly at Adam

Adam was so glad he fixed things with Kris and let out a breath of relief.  
When all awkwardness between them had disappeared, they started talking to each other like in the old days. Talking about their time on American Idol and how it had changed their lifes, and ofcourse about Allison.  
After 2 hours Adam looked at his watch and realized he was gonna be late for rehearsal, so he stood up, explained to Kris why he had to go, Kris understood it completely and walked him to the door. When they were standing in the doorway, Kris on the inside and Adam on the outside, Adam stopped and turned around to face Kris again

Adam opened up his arms a little hesitantly " Can I- " he got cut off by Kris who just let him fall into his arms and had wrapped his arms around him, Adam smiled and wrapped his arms around Kris in return

Kris' emotions were working in overdrive at that moment... He pulled his back just a little so he could look in Adam's eyes to make him feel exactly the same as he felt at that moment " Adam I- " 

Adam cut him off by placing a finger on his lips "Shhhhhh...  Don't say it, not yet... When you say it I want you to really mean it, I want to feel you really mean it. And I want to be able to say it back, and make you feel that I mean every single word of it. So, not yet baby... "

Kris looked a little confused " But I- "

Adam cut him off again by kissing him right on his mouth. When he pulled back and still saw the confused look on Kris' face, he smiled at him " This will have to be enough for now... "

They both let go of eachother and Adam started to walk to his car, looking back once more when he was standing at the side of his car, he suddenly remembered something... " Hey Kris ? " he saw Kris open his door a little more again and looking at him curiously " Happy birthday! I'll get you a present later... "

Kris'face brightened up and he smiled happily at Adam " You don't have to buy me anything, I've just got the best present ever " he waved one more time at Adam and closed the door

_Oh man... Those two nearly killed me! Oh right, I'm already death... Oh well, I've just been killed a second time then! Those two silly boys... I just love them so much..._

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

  
_Kradam is back! Yes!  
I still can't believe how silly those two boys have been... Seeing how happy they are now they keep in touch with each other again, it just makes my stomache do happy little jumps!  
Oh, Kris is coming over to Adam's place today... It's been a while since they've seen each other, well, since Kris' birthday and that's already been a month ago... But they mailed,texted and called eachother in the meanwhile. I'm so glad they worked things out!  
Well okay, they still have lots of talking to do and they have to figure out their real feelings for eachother... Which is obvious, they love eachother! But boys always have to make things more complicated... And they dare to say something about girls! Pfuh!  
Oh look, Kris is here! Let's see what my boys are up to today..._

**Adam opened the door and was suddenly stradled by a smaller brown haired guy who burried his face into his chest, Adam laughed and wrapped his arms around the cute little guy who was known by the name Kris Allen**

**" I missed you " Kris muttered into Adam's chest**

**" I missed you too... " Adam slowly started to walk backwards, without letting go of Kris, when Kris was inside Adam turned themselves around so he could close the door with one hand, the other one was still placed on Kris' back**

**Kris pulled back and let Adam go, Adam did the same. They smiled at each other and they both started walking to the livingroom, sat down on the couch next to eachother and started to catch up on their stories of their shows and how amazing their fans were.  
Then they got more serious about how people were still going on about Allison's death, how the media still asked them the most stupid questions like " Do you miss her? " Ofcourse they missed her... She was the one thing that always kept them together. Suddenly Kris started laughing and Adam looked a little confused at him**

**" What's so funny? "  Adam asked**

**" Do you remember that day, not so long before Allison died, we were at this party together and she got this new camera from her mom and she kept on filming us. Which was really annoying, but she looked so happy so we just let her... "**   
_* Oh yeah, I remember that day! That certainly was a happy day... *_

**Adam smiled as he remembered that day " Yeah, I remember that... She never stopped filming us after that day. You remember that day at the beach? When she was so bossy and just ordered us to do things in front of the camera like hold eachothers hand or hug eachother, all that kind of stuff... "**   
_* Oh, and you didn't mind doing that at all! Did you Adam? *_

**" Oh yeah, I remember... How could I ever forget that day? " Kris felt himself starting to blush and he could feel Adam's eyes on him " She even said she would make a copy of that tape and send it to us, I think she never had the time to do that... "**   
_* Oh shit, I forgot that! Stupid, stupid, STUPID Allison! "_

**" Yeah, too bad... I would love to see that tape... " Adam dreamed off a little, just thinking about that day at the beach**

**" Yeah... Me too... Who knows what else she's got on that tape?! " Kris looked at Adam and when their eyes met they burst out laughing**   
_* Oh you perverts! Geez, I would never do such a thing! *_

**Then they started talking about other stuff again. When it was about 9:00 p.m. Kris decided he should get going 'cause he had a rehearsal in the morning and God knows he needs his sleep. Adam walked him to the door and opened up his arms for a hug which Kris gladly returned. They gave eachother a kiss, on the cheek this time, and Kris walked of to his car.**

 

 _Aww, too bad it wasn't a kiss on the mouth! But hey, they're friends again and I'm already happy for that, so I'm not gonna ask for more... Atleast not for now..._  
I might have an idea actually... I think I could get them together, Really together this time...  
But I need to talk to someone about that first and I surely hope he'll listen to me...

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

  
_Since Adam left on his tour and has been calling and texting Kris everytime he has the chance I figured maybe I don't need to interfere and have my little talk with Him... Maybe I just have to let them work it out for themselves, they'll get there someday! And I hope that day will come soon...  
I'm hanging around at Kris' place these days, Kris isn't home much either 'cause he's sppending most of his time at the studio recording his new album. But I feel comfortable here, it's becoming like a second home to me...  
Oh, I can hear the door open, Kris is home! Hmmm, he looks tired... Maybe he had a bad day? I know what will cheer him up! And I think he knows that too 'cause he's walking to his laptop and puts it on. He's gonna watch some parts of Adam's show that they've put on YouTube, I just knew it! I'll go watch with him!  
Oh boy, Adam's really amazing! How he owns that stage... It's overwhelming! But hey, what's he doing now? Oh no... No, no, NO! Y ou can't do that Adam, not when Kris is watching you... Oh damn, he just did... He kissed that Tommy guy... Damn it Adam!  
Oh Kris I... Kris? Hey Kris, where are you going? Hm, he's grabbing his cellphone of the table, maybe he's gonna call Adam? Oh, he's just gonna text him..._  
  
 **Kris was furious, he couldn't believe what he had just seen... But it was true... Adam was kissing that guy, right on the mouth, in a full Theatre! Where was Kris in all this? It seemed like Adam had forgotten about him already... Maybe he had even lied to him about his feelings? He had to know... He grabbed his phone and typed a message ' We need to talk, call me when you're back from the tour ' then he slammed his phone back on the table and went outside, he needed air... Lots of air...  
He got some texts and phonecalls from Adam the following days but he just ignored them, he didn't even listen to his voicemail. **  
  
_Finally the day has arrived, Adam will be back in L.A.! The poor boy doesn't know what's waiting for him... Oh well, it's practically his own fault, he shouldn't have kissed Tommy like that.  
I think I hear Kris' phone ringing...Maybe it's Adam! Oh, he's picking it up, let's listen..._  
  
" **Hello? "**  
  
" Oh, you Finally decided to pick up your phone now? Geez Kris, I've been worried sick about you! " Adam's voice sounded really worried but relieved at the same time that Kris had finally picked up his phone  
  
" Hey Adam, how are you? Oh, I'm great! Thanks for asking... " Kris smirked and although Adam couldn't see it, Kris knew Adam could imagine his face right now  
  
" Ha ha, very funny... You wanted to talk? "  
  
" Yeah I do want to talk. Can you come over to my place or should I come to yours? "  
  
" I'm actually on my way to your place, so I'll be there in 5 minutes "  
  
" Okay, I'll see you in 5 " Kris hang up his phone before Adam could say anything else  
  
And exact 5 minutes later, Kris' doorbell rang and he stood up to open the door. When he opened it he saw Adam standing there, Kris could tell he was feeling nervous, when he invited him in he gave him a hug, but it was only half-heartedly and he knew Adam could feel that. They walked to the couch where they sat next to each other, but Kris made sure there was enough space between them. Adam was getting more and more uncomfortable, which was weird 'cause he never felt uncomfortable around Kris before. He had to know why Kris seemed so mad at him for some reason  
  
" Have I done something wrong? " Adam asked nervously  
  
" Oh, I don't know... Why do you ask? "  
  
" I'm asking becausr we've been sitting on this couch for 5 minutes now and you still haven't said a word to me. And that hug you gave me at the door wasn't anything like the hugs you usually give me... Not to mention I've been trying to reach you ever since I've got that message from you that you wanted to talk but you've just been ignoring me. So if I've done something wrong, why don't you just tell me so I can try and make it up to you "  
  
Kris looked at Adam for a moment, he really looked hurt... But he didn't have the right to feel hurt! Kris should feel hurt, and he did... " You wanna know what you did wrong? Well, let's just say I had a really bad day that day when I sent you that message, so when I came home I went on the internet to look up some of your performances of your show, 'cause they always seem to cheer me up for some reason, I saw something... Something which involved you and one of your guitar players, let's say you were getting Very friendly with eachother... "  
  
Then Adam got it, he got what this was all about... Kris was jealous... He was just jealous 'cause he kissed Tommy on stage he bit back his laugh 'cause he saw how serious Kris was and he tried to stay serious too " Is that's what's been bothering you? That I kissed Tommy? Geez Kris, it was just a kiss! A stupid stage kiss from the adrenaline that's been pumping through my body, to all the people of my band's bodies. It didn't mean anything... Not to him and certainly not to me "  
  
Kris relaxed a little and moved a little closer to Adam and for the first time that day he dared to look in his eyes " Did our kiss mean something to you? "  
  
Adam smiled lovingly at Kris and looked back into his eyes " Yes it did Kris, more than you'll ever know... " Adam swallowed, he still had to say one more thing to make Kris understand " I'm still not ready for this Kris... I'm not ready to commit myself completely to you 'cause I still think Alli's dead was a sign... I know you think it's bullshit, but I can't help thinking that, until something or someone proofs me wrong... If I'm gonna be with you, I want it to be perfect... 'Cause you're perfect for me and I want to be perfect for you too, but I can't be that person right now... I still need some time... But in the meantime I still want to be friends with you, can you understand that? Can you give me some more time? "  
  
Kris took hold of Adam's hand and slowly stroked his knuckles with his thumb " I can give you more time and I'll be glad to be your friend until then. I'm sorry I acted so- "  
  
" So jealous? " Adam cut him off " It's ok, I actually thought it was kinda cute... " Adam bent forward and gave Kris a kiss on his cheek " I'm sorry, but I really have to go now... I'm exhausted, I really need some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow ok? "  
  
" Ok, I'll let you out " Kris stood up and helped Adam of the couch by reaching out his hand and pulling him up, they walked to the door and Kris gave Adam a hug, a real heartfelt one this time, then Adam left his house to go to his own and finally get some sleep.  
  
 _Ok, just forget what I said previously 'cause I AM gonna interfere now!_  
I'm gonna proof to Adam that he's wrong, and I'm gonna do it right now!  
You just watch me... I'm gonna get you guys together even if it's the last thing I'll ever do!  


  



	8. Chapter 8

p>  
 _So I'm sitting on the roof of Kris' house and I'm looking up at the sky_

_" God, can you hear me? It's Allison Iraheta, I want to ask you something..."_

_No reaction... Damn it! He probably doesn't have time now... But I have to speak to him, the sooner the better!  
Let's try again..._

_" God, I know you're up there! Please, I need you to listen to me... "_

_Still nothing... Oh well, I'll come back later and-_

_ **" Allison... "** _

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! What's that?!  
Oh! I can see the light... Geez, so cliché... But yet I can see it!  
The clouds are parted and that blinding light is shining through them on me....  
Finally! He's ready to listen to me_

_" Geez God, you scared the hell out of me! Oh, sorry...You scared the heaven out of me! "_

**_" I don't have the time for jokes Allison... You wanted to talk to me? "_ **

_" Sorry... Yes, I wanted to ask you something "_

_**" Go ahead and ask, but I can't promise you anything... "** _

_" I uhm, I know I asked you to not take me away from here so I could do one more thing? Well, to accomplish my quest I have to give something to a person, but the problem is, I can't hold anything in my hands 'cause they go right through everything I try to touch... Can you give me the power to be able to take things in my hands? "_

**_" You know I already did you a big favour by letting your soul stay on earth , I don't know I can give you an even bigger favour again... "_ **

_" Please... I know it's not easy, but I really need to do this! If I don't accomplish this then I'll never be able to get my rest... Please God, just give me this one more thing, I promise you I'll never ask for anything ever again! Please... "_

_ **" If I give it to you and you succeed in your little quest, can you promise me you'll come up here then? "** _

_" Yes, I promise! Then I can be  a little happier in dead...And I'll finally have my well-deserved rest! "_ **_" Ok, I'll give you the power to touch and hold things, but only materialized things, so nothing of flesh and blood... No people, no animals... You get the picture. Are you ok with that? "_ **

_" More than ok! Thank you so much! I owe you big time! "_

**_" Bet you do... Don't forget, I'll take you away when I see that your mission is accomplished "_ **

_" I'll remember that! Thanks again! "_

Oh, he's already gone...  
Now let's see... Yes! I can touch the roof!  
Now up to my house to get that thing...  
This will make them get together, you'll see!  
Kradam will be reunited... Reunited in love  



	9. Chapter 9

  
_So, I've got the tape and I wrote a little note so they will really understand...  
I've got something else too, but that's for later.  
First it's time for the tape!  
I've placed it, together with the note, on the front doorstep of Kris' house and now I'm ringing the bell to get his attention.  
He won't see me, so it's okay for me to just stand here and see what happens, although I think I already know the answer to that...  
Oh, there he comes!_

**Kris opened the door and looked around, there was no one there... He wanted to close the door again but then he looked down and saw the tape with the note on top of it. He picked them up and read the note, his eyes widened as he saw the handwriting and what the note said... ' Look at this tape together with Adam ' It was all the note said, but that was more than enough...  
He ran inside to grab his carkeys and ran outside again to his car, putting the tape and the note on the seat beside him he drove off to Adam's house.  
When Adam opened his door and saw Kris he was happy to see him and oened up his arms for a hug but Kris just rushed past him and pushed some piece of paper into his hand, Adam looked confused at it but then he read it and his eyes widened even more than Kris' eyes had, he kept his eyes on the paper while he walked up to the livingroom where Kris was pushing a tape into the recorder and put on the TV**

**" Kris, this is... "**

**" Allison's handwriting, I know... " Kris looked straight at Adam and Adam looked back " You wanted a sign to proof you wrong, well I think this is the best sign you could get... "**   
_* Good thinking Kris! Go on, watch the tape... *_

**Kris sat down on the couch and tapped with his hand on the place beside him as a sign for Adam to take a seat next to him. Adam sat down beside him and looked at the TV, waiting anxiously for Kris to press the 'play' button, which he did now...  
The first thing they saw was Allison who was trying to film herself smiling happily then she turned the camera and Kris and Adam came into view. They were both rolling their eyes but smiling at the same time into the camera, they were annoyed by the camera but happy at the same time 'cause they knew Allison loved to film them and they agreed to play along. All they saw now was themselves, holding hands, laying on the beach, even at a little restaurant where Adam was feeding Kris something of his plate.  
Apparently Allison had worked on that tape 'cause she had put all the sounds of their voices out and replaced it wih music, love music ofcourse, Allison thought of everything...  
How more they saw of the tape, the closer Adam and Kris got and by now Kris' head was laying on Adam's chest and Adam's arms were wrapped around him. They were both crying... Allison had made that tape so beautiful by putting in the music and sometimes some close-ups of them when they hugged or of their hands holding on to each other. The scene that hit them the most was that of  when they pulled away from one particular hug their faces were so close that they almost kissed eachother and the look in their eyes said more then words could ever do...  
When they came to the last minutes of the tape they saw Allison putting the camera down, the music had stopped too, and they saw her standing in between them smiling from one to the other, then she took one of  their hands and said " This is what I want to see in the future...Even when I'm not around, I still want this to happen... " and she slipped Kris' hand into Adam's...  
Then the tape came to an end and the screen went black again.  
At that time, neither Adam or Kris had understood the true meaning of what Allison had said, but now they did... Now they understood...  
Allison had made the symbolic gesture of wanting to see them together, not just as friends, but as a couple...  
Adam's hand reached automatically at Kris and he entwined their fingers together, Kris looked up at him and smiled weakly, Adam smiled back and lifted Kris' hand to give it a kiss  
  
" Kris I... I've been so stupid... " Adam whispered still holding Kris' hand close to his mouth " How could I've forgotten this... All she ever wanted was for us to be together, even if she wasn't around like now... I know she didn't know she would be death, and she didn't mean it like that back then, but now I know that what we did wasn't wrong and that her death has nothing to do with us having sex. I think that, if she could see us back then, she probably would've been screaming from happiness... " He hesitated a minute and Kris brushed his finger against his lip to encourage him to speak further, so he did " I thought it was a sign for us to stop doing what we were planning to do, which was trying to be a couple. I started panicking and did everything I could to push you away... But now I know this was exactly what they wanted to  happen, what She wanted to happen... " he sighed, this was really gonna sound stupid, but he had to tell him... "Sometimes I think she's still here... Following me around like she used to do, laughing when I say or do something stupid, ...I still see flashbacks of her when I'm daydreaming, but somehow they feel real... " He looked cautiously at Kris, how would he react to this?  
  
Kris smiled and pulled himself up, he had to look straight int Adam's eyes for this " I sometimes think that too.. Like she's watching me when I'm playing my guitar and has that spark in her eyes like she's really enjoying it or when I'm just hanging lazily on my couch she's standing in front of me, scowling at me, ready to scold me for being a lazy ass and telling me to ' get off that frickin' couch and do something ', just things like that... I thought I was going crazy sometimes, but now that I know you're having them too... "  
  
" Now we can be crazy together " Adam winked and Kris laughed, then Adam got serious again and Kris stopped laughing " I'm really sorry Kris... I shouldn't have pushed you away... "  
  
" It's okay...  " Kris wrapped his arms around Adam and kissed him on the corner of his mouth " You were hurt, I understand... But I hope you won't push me away bow when I'm gonna do this.... " this time he kissed Adam full on the lips   
  
Adam didn't push Kris away, he pulled him even closer and deepened the kiss.**  
  
~~  
  
 _Kris and Adam are standing besides Kris' car now 'cause Kris has to leave, he has a rehearsal this evening and he doesn't want to be late  
They're hugging and kissing each other like they're never gonna see again... It's so cute! Those two are really meant to be together...  
Awww, they're pulling away..._  
  
" **Adam... " Kris hesitated, unsure if this was the right time to say it but when he looked up into Adam's eyes and saw the look in them he knew it was " I love you "**  
  
Adam smiled and pulled Kris' to his chest one more time, he whispered in his ear " I love you too "   
  
_At that moment I feel myself starting to disappear... I think God knows I'm done here, so he's taking me away..._  
There's one more thing though!  
As I'm floating above them I drop the picture that I also took with me together with that tape...  
It's a picture of them, stradled together in a hug, with a little note on, written by me, saying " Finally...  I never stopped believing... "  
I see them looking at the picture that has fallen at their feet, Kris picks it up and Adam looks over his shoulder to read it too...  
Their eyes widen, they look at each other and then they look up into the sky  
I smile and wave at them  
This time they can see me...  
Adam wraps his arm around Kris' shoulder and Kris wraps his arm around Adam's waist, they smile back at me and with their free hands, they wave me goodbye  
Finally... They finally got to their senses and realised this was meant to be...  
I blow them one last kiss and then I disappear...  
My job here is done, I finally get my rest...  
  
~~  
  



	10. Chapter 10

  
_Well I'm up in heaven now for over a year enjoying my well-deserved rest, but I just can't help myself from looking down on earth from time to time... Just to see how my 2 boys are doing and if they're still together..._  
Luckily, they are...  
Otherwise I would plead with God to get down on earth one last time to kick their asses!  
I think he wouldn't let me go but hey, it's the thought that counts...  
No, I'm really Really happy for them, I knew they would work things out... They just needed a little push and I'm glad I could give it to them  
Although Matt gets a big ' Thank You ' from me too 'cause he really did his best when he talked to Adam  
Adam can be such a stubborn fool sometimes... But I love him, no matter what...  
And I don't blame Adam entirely for this, 'cause Kris can be stubborn too... Plus, he's way too shy and insecure... He should realise how much people love him by now, but he's still the same humble guy who thinks he's nothing special while he's one of the most talented guys I've ever known. But that humbleness makes me love him even more than I already did...

I know my 2 boys and I know what they need  
Adam is like this over-confident almost fierce kind of guy on the outside, while he really is insecure about himself, he just needs someone in his life who can tell him he's great and who can make him feel loved, not by saying the words 'cause they're so over-rated , but just by looking at him...   
He can find all of that in Kris, that's why he belongs to him  
Kris has like no confidence at all, sure he has it, he just needs someone to drag it out of him. Someone who makes him feel good about himself no matter what he says or does in his life, someone he can always fall back on when the rest of the world lets him down...  
 Someone like Adam, that's why he belongs to him

Sometimes I see them look up to the sky and smile... As if they Know that I'm looking down upon them.  
They visit my grave from time to time and I can hear them talk to me, telling me about how their shows are going, how happy they are together and, ofcourse, how much they miss me...  
God knows how much I miss them too... He sometimes catches me crying as I'm watching Kris and Adam but he never says anything, he just puts his big comforting hand on my shoulder and for some reason that seems to help me to dry my tears...

If I can give you guys one advice: **Never.Stop.Believing...**  
When you love someone for all the right reasons, but the whole world tells you that it's wrong and you should let that person go, **Don't Do It!**  
When you love that person so much it hurts and it just seems like you'll never end up together, **Never Give Up!**  
I'm telling you this 'cause Kris and Adam have been through all of that and they Are together now...  
'Cause you know, in the end, even God couldn't stop me from giving them that little push, and he couldn't stop them from getting together either, even if I wouldn't be there to give them that push, they still would've end up together...  
And now they're the luckiest guys in the world... And I'm looking at them and feel like I'm the happiest girl in heaven..    



	11. Epilogue: 'I Just Love You'

5 years had gone by since Allison died... Kris and Adam were still together and had adopted a little girl, who was turning four today.  
Guess what name they gave her? Yes indeed, they named her Alli....

The birthday party had been a big succes! Kris and Adam had made sure they were free that day and they had invited all Alli's friends from school. Alli was running around happily, smiling brightly as she opened her presents. Some of them were just useless things but still she smiled and thanked the person from who it came. Kris and Adam were truly proud of her... She was such a cute girl, always happy and energetic, she really was a little spitfire... And smart beyond her years...  
Yes, she was the spitting image of Allison...  Except for the red hair...

Kris and Adam had told Alli a lot about her godmother Allison and they had showed her pictures of her so she would know who the person was that she was named after and how she was like. They sometimes took her to Allison's grave and Alli always put some flowers on it. Alli knew her two dad's were most likely to have tears in their eyes when they went to the grave of her godmother, so she always stood in between them holding one of their big hands in her little ones.

Now back to the birthday...  
When evening fell and everybody had gone home, Kris and Adam cleaned up a little and put little Ali in bed, after that they went to the music room where they always went to relax after a day of hard work. Kris settled himself behind the piano and Adam went to sit next to him on the stool. Kris played some songs for him and Adam swayed softly along with the music.  
They were suddenly disturbed when the door opened and they saw Alli standing in the doorway. Adam stood up from the stool and walked up to her  
  
" Hey honey, what's wrong? " Adam asked while he took her in his arms  
  
" I couldn't sleep... The party's still in my head! "  
  
Adam laughed a little " Oh, I can understand that, it was a big party you know! "  he looked over at Kris and winked, Kris smiled at him  
  
" Daddy? " Alli looked up into Adam's eyes questioningly  
  
" Yes sweetie? " Adam looked back and stroked the hair out of her eyes  
  
" Can you sing me that song you sing on the phone when you're not home? " she smiled hopefully " It always helped me fall asleep... "  
  
Adam felt his eyes tear up a little and looked over at Kris who was still sitting behind his piano, Kris nodded and faced his piano again, he knew what he had to do " Sure sweetie, come on, let's sit down " Adam placed himself on the floor with Alli still in his arms, she lay her head on his chest.  
  
Kris started playing the song he knew by heart right now so he didn't need the chords and Adam sang along with the music keeping his eyes transfixed on his little girl  
  
Lonely, yeah that's the word  
I leave my heart when I leave her  
The days go on forever and the nights do too  
  
One evening out on the road  
A half a world away from home  
I thought she was sleeping  
When the call came through  
  
I said, Darling, it's late, is everything ok  
Silence took over the room  
Til she said  
  
I... I just Love You  
I Don't Know Why, I Just Do  
When are you coming home  
I'm coming home soon  
And I just love you too  
  
Lonely lets me be  
For a while she sets me free  
I close my eyes and I dream of her  
  
She's lost in my arms  
Her head on my heart  
And softly she whispers the words  
  
I...I just Love You  
I Don't Know Why, I Just Do  
When are you coming home  
I'm coming home soon  
And I just love you too  
  
I'll never stop being amazed  
How my 4-year old girl knows exactly what to say  
  
I, I just Love You  
I Don't Know Why, I Just Do  
When are you coming home  
I'm coming home soon  
Cause I just love you too  
  
I Don't Know Why, I Just Do  
  
The song ended and Kris turned around on his stool, he knew what he would see and he was right...  
Adam was still sitting on the floor, Alli wrapped up in his arms sleeping. Adam's face was still turned downwards to Alli but Kris saw the tears rolling down his cheeks, dripping softly onto Alli's hair and face. She didn't notice though, she was too fast asleep.  
Kris stood up and walked up to them, he disentangled Alli from Adam's arms and walked out of the room to put her back into bed. He left Adam in the musicroom, he knew he needed some time alone now...  
  
When Kris came back into the musicroom he saw Adam standing by the window, just staring into nothingness...  
He walked up to him and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind him and burried his head into his shoulders. Adam turned his head a little and smiled at Kris as he looked up at him, then he stared out of the window again  
  
" Kris... " Adam whispered " Do you think she misses us as much as we miss her? "  
  
Suddenly raindrops were falling down on the window...  
  
" Yeah baby " Kris whispered back, tightning his grip around Adam's waist " I think she does... "  
  


  



End file.
